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sacrifice I had made。 He said on this occasion； 〃You are to be the
chief〃； and he related these circumstances to my colleague； who
became； in return for the service I had done him； my good friend。 The
consideration shown to me by the Duc de Lenoncourt set the tone of
that which I met with in society。 To have it said； 〃The king takes an
interest in the young man； that young man has a future； the king likes
him；〃 would have served me in place of talents； and it now gave to the
kindly welcome accorded to youth a certain respect that is only given
to power。 In the salon of the Duchesse de Lenoncourt and also at the
house of my sister who had just married the Marquis de Listomere； son
of the old lady in the Ile St。 Louis； I gradually came to know the
influential personages of the Faubourg St。 Germain。
Henriette herself put me at the heart of the circle then called 〃le
Petit Chateau〃 by the help of her great…aunt； the Princesse de
Blamont…Chauvry； to whom she wrote so warmly in my behalf that the
princess immediately sent for me。 I cultivated her and contrived to
please her； and she became； not my protectress but a friend； in whose
kindness there was something maternal。 The old lady took pains to make
me intimate with her daughter Madame d'Espard； with the Duchesse de
Langeais； the Vicomtesse de Beauseant； and the Duchesse de
Maufrigneuse； women who held the sceptre of fashion； and who were all
the more gracious to me because I made no pretensions and was always
ready to be useful and agreeable to them。 My brother Charles； far from
avoiding me； now began to lean upon me； but my rapid success roused a
secret jealousy in his mind which in after years caused me great
vexation。 My father and mother； surprised by a triumph so unexpected；
felt their vanity flattered； and received me at last as a son。 But
their feeling was too artificial； I might say false； to let their
present treatment have much influence upon a sore heart。 Affectations
stained with selfishness win little sympathy； the heart abhors
calculations and profits of all kinds。
I wrote regularly to Henriette； who answered by two letters a month。
Her spirit hovered over me； her thoughts traversed space and made the
atmosphere around me pure。 No woman could captivate me。 The king
noticed my reserve； and as； in this respect； he belonged to the school
of Louis XV。； he called me； in jest； Mademoiselle de Vandenesse； but
my conduct pleased him。 I am convinced that the habit of patience I
acquired in my childhood and practised at Clochegourde had much to do
in my winning the favor of the king； who was always most kind to me。
He no doubt took a fancy to read my letters； for he soon gave up his
notion of my life as that of a young girl。 One day when the duke was
on duty； and I was writing at the king's dictation； the latter
suddenly remarked； in that fine； silvery voice of his； to which he
could give； when he chose； the biting tone of epigram：
〃So that poor devil of a Mortsauf persists in living？〃
〃Yes；〃 replied the duke。
〃Madame de Mortsauf is an angel； whom I should like to see at my
court；〃 continued the king； 〃but if I cannot manage it； my chancellor
here；〃 turning to me； 〃may be more fortunate。 You are to have six
months' leave； I have decided on giving you the young man we spoke of
yesterday as colleague。 Amuse yourself at Clochegourde； friend Cato！〃
and he laughed as he had himself wheeled out of the room。
I flew like a swallow to Touraine。 For the first time I was to show
myself to my beloved； not merely a little less insignificant； but
actually in the guise of an elegant young man； whose manners had been
formed in the best salons； his education finished by gracious women；
who had found at last a compensation for all his sufferings； and had
put to use the experience given to him by the purest angel to whom
heaven had ever committed the care of a child。 You know how my mother
had equipped me for my three months' visit at Frapesle。 When I reached
Clochegourde after fulfilling my mission in Vendee； I was dressed like
a huntsman； I wore a jacket with white and red buttons； striped
trousers； leathern gaiters and shoes。 Tramping through underbrush had
so injured my clothes that the count was obliged to lend me linen。 On
the present occasion； two years' residence in Paris； constant
intercourse with the king； the habits of a life at ease； my completed
growth； a youthful countenance； which derived a lustre from the
placidity of the soul within magnetically united with the pure soul
that beamed on me from Clochegourde；all these things combined had
transformed me。 I was self…possessed without conceit； inwardly pleased
to find myself； in spite of my years； at the summit of affairs； above
all； I had the consciousness of being secretly the support and comfort
of the dearest woman on earth； and her unuttered hope。 Perhaps I felt
a flutter of vanity as the postilions cracked their whips along the
new avenue leading from the main road to Clochegourde and through an
iron gate I had never seen before； which opened into a circular
enclosure recently constructed。 I had not written to the countess of
my coming； wishing to surprise her。 For this I found myself doubly in
fault： first； she was overwhelmed with the excitement of a pleasure
long desired； but supposed to be impossible； and secondly； she proved
to me that all such deliberate surprises are in bad taste。
When Henriette saw a young man in him who had hitherto seemed but a
child to her； she lowered her eyes with a sort of tragic slowness。 She
allowed me to take and kiss her hand without betraying her inward
pleasure； which I nevertheless felt in her sensitive shiver。 When she
raised her face to look at me again； I saw that she was pale。
〃Well； you don't forget your old friends？〃 said Monsieur de Mortsauf；
who had neither changed nor aged。
The children sprang upon me。 I saw them behind the grave face of the
Abbe Dominis； Jacques' tutor。
〃No；〃 I replied； 〃and in future I am to have six months' leave； which
will always be spent hereWhy； what is the matter？〃 I said to the
countess； putting my arm round her waist and holding her up in
presence of them all。
〃Oh； don't！〃 she said； springing away from me； 〃it is nothing。〃
I read her mind； and answered to its secret thought by saying； 〃Am I
not allowed to be your faithful slave？〃
She took my arm； left the count； the children； and the abbe； and led
me to a distance on the lawn； though still within sight of the others；
then； when sure that her voice could not be heard by them； she spoke。
〃Felix； my dear friend；〃 she said； 〃forgive my fears； I have but one
thread by which to guide me in the labyrinth of life； and I dread to
see it broken。 Tell me that I am more than ever Henriette to you； that
you will never abandon me； that nothing shall prevail against me； that
you will ever be my devoted friend。 I have suddenly had a glimpse into
my future； and you were not there； as hitherto； your eyes shining and
fixed upon me〃
〃Henriette！ idol whose worship is like that of the Divine；lily；
flower of my life； how is it that you do not know； you who are my
conscience； that my being is so fused with yours that my soul is here
when my body is in Paris？ Must I tell you that I have come in
seventeen hours； that each turn of the wheels gathered thoughts and
desires in my breast； which burst forth like a tempest when I saw
you？〃
〃Yes； tell me！ tell me！〃 she cried； 〃I am so sure of myself that I can
hear you without wrong。 God does not will my death。 He sends you to me
as he sends his breath to his creatures； as he pours the rain of his
clouds upon a parched earth；tell me！ tell me！ Do you love me
sacredly？〃
〃Sacredly。〃
〃For ever？〃
〃For ever。〃
〃As a virgin Mary； hidden behind her veil； beneath her white crown。〃
〃As a virgin visible。〃
〃As a sister？〃
〃As a sister too dearly loved。〃
〃With chivalry and without hope？〃
〃With chivalry and with hope。〃
〃As if you were still twenty years of age； and wearing that absurd
blue coat？〃
〃Oh better far！ I love you thus； and I also love you〃she looked at
me with keen apprehension〃as you loved your aunt。〃
〃I am happy！ Y