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boy as he bounded over the gravel； where so often she had led him in
the sunshine inwardly weeping his expected death。 She leaned upon my
arm unreservedly； and said： 〃I think I have never suffered。 Do not
leave us to…day。〃
The lesson over； Jacques jumped into his mother's arms； she caught him
and held him tightly to her； kissing him passionately。 I went with
Madeleine to arrange two magnificent bouquets for the dinner…table in
honor of the young equestrian。 When we returned to the salon the
countess said： 〃The fifteenth of October is certainly a great day with
me。 Jacques has taken his first riding lesson； and I have just set the
last stitch in my furniture cover。〃
〃Then； Blanche；〃 said the count； laughing； 〃I must pay you for it。〃
He offered her his arm and took her to the first courtyard； where
stood an open carriage which her father had sent her； and for which
the count had purchased two English horses。 The old huntsman had
prepared the surprise while Jacques was taking his lesson。 We got into
the carriage； and went to see where the new avenue entered the main
road towards Chinon。 As we returned； the countess said to me in an
anxious tone； 〃I am too happy； to me happiness is like an illness；it
overwhelms me； I fear it may vanish like a dream。〃
I loved her too passionately not to feel jealous；I who could give
her nothing！ In my rage against myself I longed for some means of
dying for her。 She asked me to tell her the thoughts that filled my
eyes； and I told her honestly。 She was more touched than by all her
presents； then taking me to the portico； she poured comfort into my
heart。 〃Love me as my aunt loved me；〃 she said； 〃and that will be
giving me your life； and if I take it； must I not ever be grateful to
you？
〃It was time I finished my tapestry；〃 she added as we re…entered the
salon； where I kissed her hand as if to renew my vows。 〃Perhaps you do
not know； Felix； why I began so formidable a piece of work。 Men find
the occupations of life a great resource against troubles； the
management of affairs distracts their mind； but we poor women have no
support within ourselves against our sorrows。 To be able to smile
before my children and my husband when my heart was heavy I felt the
need of controlling my inward sufferings by some physical exercise。 In
this way I escaped the depression which is apt to follow a great
strain upon the moral strength； and likewise all outbursts of
excitement。 The mere action of lifting my arm regularly as I drew the
stitches rocked my thoughts and gave to my spirit when the tempest
raged a monotonous ebb and flow which seemed to regulate its emotions。
To every stitch I confided my secrets；you understand me； do you not？
Well； while doing my last chair I have thought much； too much； of you；
dear friend。 What you have put into your bouquets I have said in my
embroidery。〃
The dinner was lovely。 Jacques； like all children when you take notice
of them； jumped into my arms when he saw the flowers I had arranged
for him as a garland。 His mother pretended to be jealous； ah； Natalie；
you should have seen the charming grace with which the dear child
offered them to her。 In the afternoon we played a game of backgammon；
I alone against Monsieur and Madame de Mortsauf； and the count was
charming。 They accompanied me along the road to Frapesle in the
twilight of a tranquil evening； one of those harmonious evenings when
our feelings gain in depth what they lose in vivacity。 It was a day of
days in this poor woman's life； a spot of brightness which often
comforted her thoughts in painful hours。
Soon； however； the riding lessons became a subject of contention。 The
countess justly feared the count's harsh reprimands to his son。
Jacques grew thin； dark circles surrounded his sweet blue eyes； rather
than trouble his mother； he suffered in silence。 I advised him to tell
his father he was tired when the count's temper was violent； but that
expedient proved unavailing； and it became necessary to substitute the
old huntsman as a teacher in place of the father； who could with
difficulty be induced to resign his pupil。 Angry reproaches and
contentions began once more； the count found a text for his continual
complaints in the base ingratitude of women； he flung the carriage；
horses； and liveries in his wife's face twenty times a day。 At last a
circumstance occurred on which a man with his nature and his disease
naturally fastened eagerly。 The cost of the buildings at the Cassine
and the Rhetoriere proved to be half as much again as the estimate。
This news was unfortunately given in the first instance to Monsieur de
Mortsauf instead of to his wife。 It was the ground of a quarrel； which
began mildly but grew more and more embittered until it seemed as
though the count's madness； lulled for a short time； was demanding its
arrearages from the poor wife。
That day I had started from Frapesle at half…past ten to search for
flowers with Madeleine。 The child had brought the two vases to the
portico； and I was wandering about the gardens and adjoining meadows
gathering the autumn flowers； so beautiful； but too rare。 Returning
from my final quest； I could not find my little lieutenant with her
white cape and broad pink sash； but I heard cries within the house；
and Madeleine presently came running out。
〃The general；〃 she said； crying （the term with her was an expression
of dislike）； 〃the general is scolding mamma； go and defend her。〃
I sprang up the steps of the portico and reached the salon without
being seen by either the count or his wife。 Hearing the madman's sharp
cries I first shut all the doors； then I returned and found Henriette
as white as her dress。
〃Never marry； Felix；〃 said the count as soon as he saw me； 〃a woman is
led by the devil； the most virtuous of them would invent evil if it
did not exist； they are all vile。〃
Then followed arguments without beginning or end。 Harking back to the
old troubles； Monsieur de Mortsauf repeated the nonsense of the
peasantry against the new system of farming。 He declared that if he
had had the management of Clochegourde he should be twice as rich as
he now was。 He shouted these complaints and insults； he swore； he
sprang around the room knocking against the furniture and displacing
it； then in the middle of a sentence he stopped short； complained that
his very marrow was on fire； his brains melting away like his money；
his wife had ruined him！ The countess smiled and looked upward。
〃Yes； Blanche；〃 he cried； 〃you are my executioner； you are killing me；
I am in your way； you want to get rid of me； you are monster of
hypocrisy。 She is smiling！ Do you know why she smiles； Felix？〃
I kept silence and looked down。
〃That woman；〃 he continued； answering his own question； 〃denies me all
happiness； she is no more to me than she is to you； and yet she
pretends to be my wife！ She bears my name and fulfils none of the
duties which all laws； human and divine； impose upon her； she lies to
God and man。 She obliges me to go long distances； hoping to wear me
out and make me leave her to herself； I am displeasing to her； she
hates me； she puts all her art into keeping me away from her； she has
made me mad through the privations she imposes on mefor everything
flies to my poor head； she is killing me by degrees； and she thinks
herself a saint and takes the sacrament every month！〃
The countess was weeping bitterly； humiliated by the degradation of
the man； to whom she kept saying for all answer； 〃Monsieur！ monsieur！
monsieur！〃
Though the count's words made me blush； more for him than for
Henriette； they stirred my heart violently； for they appealed to the
sense of chastity and delicacy which is indeed the very warp and woof
of first love。
〃She is virgin at my expense；〃 cried the count。
At these words the countess cried out； 〃Monsieur！〃
〃What do you mean with your imperious 'Monsieur！'〃 he shouted。 〃Am I
not your master？ Must I teach you that I am？〃
He came towards her； thrusting forward his white wolf's head； now
hideous； for his yellow eyes had a savage expression which made him
look like a wild beast rushing out of a wood。 Henriette slid from her
cha