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the lily of the valley(幽谷百合)-第11章

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features of the table; but flowers adorned the porcelain vases and
overhung the gilding of their fluted edges。 I delighted in these
quaint old things。 I thought the Reveillon paper with its flowery
garlands beautiful。 The sweet content that filled my sails hindered me
from perceiving the obstacles which a life so uniform; so unvarying in
solitude of the country placed between her and me。 I was near her;
sitting at her right hand; serving her with wine。 Yes; unhoped…for
joy! I touched her dress; I ate her bread。 At the end of three hours
my life had mingled with her life! That terrible kiss had bound us to
each other in a secret which inspired us with mutual shame。 A glorious
self…abasement took possession of me。 I studied to please the count; I
fondled the dogs; I would gladly have gratified every desire of the
children; I would have brought them hoops and marbles and played horse
with them; I was even provoked that they did not already fasten upon
me as a thing of their own。 Love has intuitions like those of genius;
and I dimly perceived that gloom; discontent; hostility would destroy
my footing in that household。

The dinner passed with inward happiness on my part。 Feeling that I was
there; under her roof; I gave no heed to her obvious coldness; nor to
the count's indifference masked by his politeness。 Love; like life;
has an adolescence during which period it suffices unto itself。 I made
several stupid replies induced by the tumults of passion; but no one
perceived their cause; not even SHE; who knew nothing of love。 The
rest of my visit was a dream; a dream which did not cease until by
moonlight on that warm and balmy night I recrossed the Indre; watching
the white visions that embellished meadows; shores; and hills; and
listening to the clear song; the matchless note; full of deep
melancholy and uttered only in still weather; of a tree…frog whose
scientific name is unknown to me。 Since that solemn evening I have
never heard it without infinite delight。 A sense came to me then of
the marble wall against which my feelings had hitherto dashed
themselves。 Would it be always so? I fancied myself under some fatal
spell; the unhappy events of my past life rose up and struggled with
the purely personal pleasure I had just enjoyed。 Before reaching
Frapesle I turned to look at Clochegourde and saw beneath its windows
a little boat; called in Touraine a punt; fastened to an ash…tree and
swaying on the water。 This punt belonged to Monsieur de Mortsauf; who
used it for fishing。

〃Well;〃 said Monsieur de Chessel; when we were out of ear…shot。 〃I
needn't ask if you found those shoulders; I must; however;
congratulate you on the reception Monsieur de Mortsauf gave you。 The
devil! you stepped into his heart at once。〃

These words followed by those I have already quoted to you raised my
spirits。 I had not as yet said a word; and Monsieur de Chessel may
have attributed my silence to happiness。

〃How do you mean?〃 I asked。

〃He never; to my knowledge; received any one so well。〃

〃I will admit that I am rather surprised myself;〃 I said; conscious of
a certain bitterness underlying my companion's speech。

Though I was too inexpert in social matters to understand its cause; I
was much struck by the feeling Monsieur de Chessel betrayed。 His real
name was Durand; but he had had the weakness to discard the name of a
worthy father; a merchant who had made a large fortune under the
Revolution。 His wife was sole heiress of the Chessels; an old
parliamentary family under Henry IV。; belonging to the middle classes;
as did most of the Parisian magistrates。 Ambitious of higher flights
Monsieur de Chessel endeavored to smother the original Durand。 He
first called himself Durand de Chessel; then D。 de Chessel; and that
made him Monsieur de Chessel。 Under the Restoration he entailed an
estate with the title of count in virtue of letters…patent from Louis
XVIII。 His children reaped the fruits of his audacity without knowing
what it cost him in sarcastic comments。 Parvenus are like monkeys;
whose cleverness they possess; we watch them climbing; we admire their
agility; but once at the summit we see only their absurd and
contemptible parts。 The reverse side of my host's character was made
up of pettiness with the addition of envy。 The peerage and he were on
diverging lines。 To have an ambition and gratify it shows merely the
insolence of strength; but to live below one's avowed ambition is a
constant source of ridicule to petty minds。 Monsieur de Chessel did
not advance with the straightforward step of a strong man。 Twice
elected deputy; twice defeated; yesterday director…general; to…day
nothing at all; not even prefect; his successes and his defeats had
injured his nature; and given him the sourness of invalided ambition。
Though a brave man and a witty one and capable of great things; envy;
which is the root of existence in Touraine; the inhabitants of which
employ their native genius in jealousy of all things; injured him in
upper social circles; where a dissatisfied man; frowning at the
success of others; slow at compliments and ready at epigram; seldom
succeeds。 Had he sought less he might perhaps have obtained more; but
unhappily he had enough genuine superiority to make him wish to
advance in his own way。

At this particular time Monsieur de Chessel's ambition had a second
dawn。 Royalty smiled upon him; and he was now affecting the grand
manner。 Still he was; I must say; most kind to me; and he pleased me
for the very simple reason that with him I had found peace and rest
for the first time。 The interest; possibly very slight; which he
showed in my affairs; seemed to me; lonely and rejected as I was; an
image of paternal love。 His hospitable care contrasted so strongly
with the neglect to which I was accustomed; that I felt a childlike
gratitude to the home where no fetters bound me and where I was
welcomed and even courted。

The owners of Frapesle are so associated with the dawn of my life's
happiness that I mingle them in all those memories I love to revive。
Later; and more especially in connection with his letters…patent; I
had the pleasure of doing my host some service。 Monsieur de Chessel
enjoyed his wealth with an ostentation that gave umbrage to certain of
his neighbors。 He was able to vary and renew his fine horses and
elegant equipages; his wife dressed exquisitely; he received on a
grand scale; his servants were more numerous than his neighbors
approved; for all of which he was said to be aping princes。 The
Frapesle estate is immense。 Before such luxury as this the Comte de
Mortsauf; with one family cariole;which in Touraine is something
between a coach without springs and a post…chaise;forced by limited
means to let or farm Clochegourde; was Tourangean up to the time when
royal favor restored the family to a distinction possibly unlooked
for。 His greeting to me; the younger son of a ruined family whose
escutcheon dated back to the Crusades; was intended to show contempt
for the large fortune and to belittle the possessions; the woods; the
arable lands; the meadows; of a neighbor who was not of noble birth。
Monsieur de Chessel fully understood this。 They always met politely;
but there was none of that daily intercourse or that agreeable
intimacy which ought to have existed between Clochegourde and
Frapesle; two estates separated only by the Indre; and whose
mistresses could have beckoned to each other from their windows。

Jealousy; however; was not the sole reason for the solitude in which
the Count de Mortsauf lived。 His early education was that of the
children of great families;an incomplete and superficial instruction
as to knowledge; but supplemented by the training of society; the
habits of a court life; and the exercise of important duties under the
crown or in eminent offices。 Monsieur de Mortsauf had emigrated at the
very moment when the second stage of his education was about to begin;
and accordingly that training was lacking to him。 He was one of those
who believed in the immediate restoration of the monarchy; with that
conviction in his mind; his exile was a long and miserable period of
idleness。 When the arm
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