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spring their first leaves； still all pale and chilly。 Beside me the carriages
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keep rolling by to the Bois de Boulogne。 Unconsciously I have wandered
into this fashionable avenue on my promenade； and halted； quite stupidly；
in front of a booth stocked with gingerbread and decanters of liquorice…
water； each topped by a lemon。 A miserable little boy； covered with rags；
which expose his chapped skin； stares with widely opened eyes at those
sumptuous sweets which are not for such as he。 With the shamelessness of
innocence he betrays his longing。 His round； fixed eyes contemplate a
certain gingerbread man of lofty stature。 It is a general； and it looks a little
like Uncle Victor。 I take it； I pay for it； and present it to the little pauper；
who dares not extend his hand to receive itfor； by reason of precocious
experience； he cannot believe in luck； he looks at me； in the same way that
certain big dogs do； with the air of one saying； 〃You are cruel to make fun
of me like that！〃
〃Come； little stupid；〃 I say to him； in that rough tone I am accustomed
to use； 〃take ittake it； and eat it； for you； happier than I was at your age；
you can satisfy your tastes without disgracing yourself。〃。。。And you； Uncle
Victoryou； whose manly figure has been recalled to me by that
gingerbread general； come； glorious Shadow； help me to forget my new
doll。 We remain for ever children； and are always running after new toys。
Same day。
In the oddest way that Coccoz family has become associated in my
mind with the Clerk Alexander。
〃Therese；〃 I said； as I threw myself into my easy…chair； 〃tell me if the
little Coccoz is well； and whether he has got his first teeth yetand bring
me my slippers。〃
〃He ought to have them by this time； Monsieur；〃 replied Therese； 〃but
I never saw them。 The very first fine day of spring the mother disappeared
with the child； leaving furniture and clothes and everything behind her。
They found thirty…eight empty pomade…pots in the attic。 It passes all belief！
She had visitors latterly； and you may be quite sure she is not now in a
convent of nuns。 The niece of the concierge says she saw her driving about
in a carriage on the boulevards。 I always told you she would end badly。〃
〃Therese；〃 I replied； 〃that young woman has not ended either badly or
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well as yet。 Wait until the term of her life is over before you judge her。
And be careful not to talk too much with that concierge。 It seemed to me
though I only saw her for a moment on the stairs that Madame Coccoz
was very fond of her child。 For that mother's love at least； she deserves
credit。〃
〃As far as that goes； Monsieur； certainly the little one never wanted for
anything。 In all the Quarter one could not have found a child better kept；
or better nourished； or more petted and coddled。 Every day that God
makes she puts a clean bib on him； and sings to him to make him laugh
from morning till night。〃
〃Therese； a poet has said； 'That child whose mother has never smiled
upon him is worthy neither of the table of the gods nor of the couch of the
goddesses。'〃
July 8； 1852。
Having been informed that the Chapel of the Virgin at Saint…
Germain… des…Pres was being repaved； I entered the church with the hope
of discovering some old inscriptions； possibly exposed by the labours of
the workmen。 I was not disappointed。 The architect kindly showed me a
stone which he had just had raised up against the wall。 I knelt down to
look at the inscription engraved upon that stone； and then； half aloud； I
read in the shadow of the old apsis these words； which made my heart
leap：
〃Cy…gist Alexandre； moyne de ceste eglise； qui fist mettre en argent le
menton de Saint…Vincent et de Saint…Amant et le pie des Innocens； qui
toujours en son vivant fut preud'homme et vayllant。 Priez pour l'ame de
lui。〃
I wiped gently away with my handkerchief the dust covering that
gravestone； I could have kissed it。
〃It is he！ it is Alexander！〃 I cried out； and from the height of the vaults
the name fell back upon me with a clang； as if broken。
The silent severity of the beadle； whom I saw advancing towards me；
made me ashamed of my enthusiasm； and I fled between the two holy
water sprinklers with which tow rival 〃rats d'eglise〃 seemed desirous of
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barring my way。
At all events it was certainly my own Alexander！ there could be no
more doubt possible； the translator of the 〃Golden Legend；〃 the author of
the saints lives of Saints Germain； Vincent； Ferreol； Ferrution； and
Droctoveus was； just as I had supposed； a monk of Saint…Germain…des…
Pres。 And what a monk； toopious and generous！ He had a silver chin； a
silver head； and a silver foot made； that certain precious remains should be
covered with an incorruptible envelope！ But shall I never be able to view
his handiwork？ or is this new discovery only destined to increase my
regrets？
August 20； 1859。
〃I； that please some； try all； both joy and terror Of good and bad； that
make and unfold error Now take upon me； in the name of Time To use
my wings。 Impute it not a crime To me or my swift passage； that I slide
O'er years。〃
Who speaks thus？ 'Tis an old man whom I know too well。 It is Time。
Shakespeare； after having terminated the third act of the 〃Winter's
Tale；〃 pauses in order to leave time for little Perdita to grow up in wisdom
and in beauty； and when he raises the curtain again he evokes the ancient
Scythe…bearer upon the stage to render account to the audience of those
many long days which have weighted down upon the head of the jealous
Leontes。
Like Shakespeare in his play； I have left in this diary of mine a long
interval to oblivion； and after the fashion of the poet； I make Time himself
intervene to explain the omission of ten whole years。 Ten whole years；
indeed； have passed since I wrote one single line in this diary； and now
that I take up the pen again； I have not the pleasure； alas！ to describe a
Perdita 〃now grown in grace。〃 Youth and beauty are the faithful
companions of poets； but those charming phantoms scarcely visit the rest
of us； even for the space of a season。 We do not know how to retain them
with us。 If the fair shade of some Perdita should ever； through some
inconceivable whim； take a notion to traverse my brain； she would hurt
herself horribly against heaps of dog…eared parchments。 Happy the poets！
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their white hairs never scare away the hovering shades of Helens；
Francescas； Juliets； Julias； and Dorotheas！ But the nose alone of Sylvestre
Bonnard would put to flight the whole swarm of love's heroines。
Yet I； like others； have felt beauty； I have known that myste