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down is bareheaded； shi is young； she sings； her eyes and teeth gleam in
the shadow； for she laughs with lips and eyes at the same time。 She is
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certainly a neighbor； and a very familiar one。 She holds in her arms a
pretty child； a little boy quite naked； like the son of a goddess； he has a
medal hung round his neck by a little silver chain。 I see him sucking his
thumb and looking at me with those big eyes so newly opened on this old
universe。 The mother simultaneously looks at me in a sly； mysterious way；
she stopsI think blushes a littleand holds out the little creature to me。
The baby has a pretty wrinkle between wrist and arm； a pretty wrinkle
about his neck； and all over him； from head to foot； the daintiest dimples
laugh in his rosy flesh。
The mamma shows him to me with pride。
〃Monsieur；〃 she says； 〃don't you think he is very prettymy little
boy？〃
She takes one tiny hand； lifts it to the child's own lips； and； drawing
out the darling pink fingers again towards me； says；
〃Baby； throw the gentleman a kiss。〃
Then； folding the little being in her arms； she flees away with the
agility of a cat； and is lost to sight in a corridor which； judging by the
odour； must lead to some kitchen。
I enter my own quarters。
〃Therese； who can that young mother be whom I saw bareheaded on
the stairs just now； with a pretty little boy？〃
And Therese replies that it was Madame Coccoz。
I stare up at the ceiling； as if trying to obtain some further illumination。
Therese then recalls to me the little book…peddler who tried to sell me
almanacs last year； while his wife was lying in。
〃And Coccoz himself？〃 I asked。
I was answered that I would never see him again。 The poor little man
had been laid away underground； without my knowledge； and； indeed；
with the knowledge of very few people； on a short time after the happy
delivery of Madame Coccoz。 I leaned that his wife had been able to
console herself： I did likewise。
〃But； Therese；〃 I asked； 〃has Madame Coccoz got everything she
needs in that attic of hers？〃
〃You would be a great dupe； Monsieur；〃 replied my housekeeper； 〃if
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you should bother yourself about that creature。 They gave her notice to
quit the attic when the roof was repaired。 But she stays there yetin spite
of the proprietor； the agent； the concierge； and the bailiffs。 I think she has
bewitched every one of them。 She will leave the attic when she pleases；
Monsieur； but she is going to leave in her own carriage。 Let me tell you
that！〃
Therese reflected for a moment； and then uttered these words：
〃A pretty face is a curse from Heaven。〃
〃Then I ought to thank Heaven for having spared me that curse。 But
here！ put my hat and cane away。 I am going to amuse myself with a few
pages of Moreri。 If I can trust my old fox…nose； we are going to have a
nicely flavoured pullet for dinner。 Look after that estimable fowl； my girl；
and spare your neighbors； so that you and your old master may be spared
by them in turn。〃
Having thus spoken； I proceeded to follow out the tufted ramifications
of a princely genealogy。
May 7； 1851
I have passed the winter according to the ideal of the sages； in angello
cum libello； and now the swallows of the Quai Malaquais find me on their
return about as when they left me。 He who lives little； changes little； and it
is scarcely living at all to use up one's days over old texts。
Yet I feel myself to…day a little more deeply impregnated than ever
before with that vague melancholy which life distils。 The economy of my
intelligence （I dare scarcely confess it to myself！） has remained disturbed
ever since that momentous hour in which the existence of the manuscript
of the Clerk Alexander was first revealed to me。
It is strange that I should have lost my rest simply on account of a few
old sheets of parchment； but it is unquestionably true。 The poor man who
has no desires possesses the greatest of riches； he possesses himself。 The
rich man who desires something is only a wretched slave。 I am just such a
slave。 The sweetest pleasures those of converse with some one of a
delicate and well…balanced mind； or dining out with a friendare
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insufficient to enable me to forget the manuscript which I know that I want；
and have been wanting from the moment I knew of its existence。 I feel the
want of it by day and by night： I feel the want of it in all my joys and pains；
I feel the want of it while at work or asleep。
I recall my desires as a child。 How well I can now comprehend the
intense wishes of my early years！
I can see once more； with astonishing vividness； a certain doll which；
when I was eight years old； used to be displayed in the window of an ugly
little shop of the Rue de Seine。 I cannot tell how it happened that this doll
attracted me。 I was very proud of being a boy； I despised little girls； and I
longed impatiently for the day （which alas！ has come） when a strong beard
should bristle on my chin。 I played at being a soldier； and； under the
pretext of obtaining forage for my rocking…horse； I used to make sad
havoc among the plants my poor mother delighted to keep on her window…
sill。 Manly amusements those； I should say！ And； nevertheless； I was
consumed with longing for a doll。 Characters like Hercules have such
weaknesses occasionally。 Was the one I had fallen in love with at all
beautiful？ No。 I can see her now。 She had a splotch of vermilion on either
cheek； short soft arms； horrible wooden hands； and long sprawling legs。
Her flowered petticoat was fastened at the waist with two pins。 Even now I
cans see the balck heads of those two pins。 It was a decidedly vulgar doll
smelt of the faubourg。 I remember perfectly well that； child as I was then；
before I had put on my first pair of trousers； I was quite conscious in my
own way that this doll lacked grace and stylethat she was gross； that she
was course。 But I loved her in spite of that； I loved her just for that； I loved
her only； I wanted her。 My soldiers and my drums had become as nothing
in my eyes； I ceased to stick sprigs of heliotrope and veronica into the
mouth of my rocking…horse。 That doll was all the world to me。 I invented
ruses worthy of a savage to oblige Virginie； my nurse； to take me by the
little shop in the Rue de Seine。 I would press my nose against the window
until my nurse had to take my arm and drag me away。 〃Monsieur Sylvestre；
it is late； and your mamma will scold you。〃 Monsieur Sylvestre in those
days made very little of either scoldings or whippings。 But his nurse lifted
him up like a feather； and Monsieur Sylvestre yielded to force。 In after…
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years； with age； he degenerated； and sometimes yielded to fear。 But at that
time he used to fear