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to kings。 〃At your age； Monsieur；〃 she would have been sure to say； 〃one
ought to have more sense。〃 She is simple enough to believe that sense
grows with age。 I seem to her an exception to this rule。
Not having any similar motive for concealing my experiences from
Madame de Gabry； I told her all about my vision； which she seemed to
enjoy very much。
〃Why； that was a charming dream of yours；〃 she said； 〃and one must
have real genius to dream such a dream。〃
〃Then I am a real genius when I am asleep；〃 I responded。
〃When you dream；〃 she replied； 〃and you are always dreaming。〃
I know that Madame de Gabry； in making this remark； only wished to
please me； but that intention alone deserves my utmost gratitude； and it is
therefore in a spirit of thankfulness and kindliest remembrance that I write
down her words； which I will read over and over again until my dying day；
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and which will never be read by any one save myself。
I passed the next few days in completing the inventory of the
manuscripts in the Lusance library。 Certain confidential observations
dropped by Monsieur Paul de Gabry； however； caused me some painful
surprise； and made me decide to pursue the work after a different manner
from that in which I had begun it。 From those few words I learned that the
fortune of Monsieur Honore de Gabry； which had been badly managed for
many years； and subsequently swept away to a large extent through the
failure of a banker whose name I do not know； had been transmitted to the
heirs of the old French nobleman only under the form of mortgaged real
estate and irrecoverable assets。
Monsieur Paul； by agreement with his joint heirs； had decided to sell
the library； and I was intrusted with the task of making arrangements to
have the sale effected upon advantageous terms。 But totally ignorant as I
was of all the business methods and trade…customs； I thought it best to get
the advice of a publisher who was one of my private friends。 I wrote him
at once to come and join me at Lusance； and while waiting for his arrival I
took my hat and cane and made visits to the different churches of the
diocese； in several of which I knew there were certain mortuary
inscriptions to be found which had never been correctly copied。
So I left my hosts and departed my pilgrimage。 Exploring the churches
and the cemeteries every day； visiting the parish priests and the village
notaries； supping at the public inns with peddlers and cattle… dealers；
sleeping at night between sheets scented with lavender； I passed one whole
week in the quiet but profound enjoyment of observing the living engaged
in their various daily occupations even while I was thinking of the dead。
As for the purpose of my researches； I made only a few mediocre
discoveries； which caused me only a mediocre joy； and one therefore
salubrious and not at all fatiguing。 I copied a few interesting epitaphs； and
I added to this little collection a few recipes for cooking country dishes；
which a certain good priest kindly gave me。
With these riches； I returned to Lusance； and I crossed the court… of…
honour with such secret satisfaction as a bourgeois fells on entering his
own home。 This was the effect of the kindness of my hosts； and the
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impression I received on crossing their threshold proves； better than any
reasoning could do； the excellence of their hospitality。
I entered the great parlour without meeting anybody； and the young
chestnut…tree there spreading out its broad leaves seemed to me like an old
friend。 But the next thing which I sawon the pier…tablecaused me such a
shock of surprise that I readjusted my glasses upon my nose with both
hands at once； and then felt myself over so as to get at least some
superficial proof of my own existence。 In less than one second there
thronged from my mind twenty different conjecturesthe most rational of
which was that I had suddenly become crazy。 It seemed to me absolutely
impossible that what I was looking at could exist； yet it was equally
impossible for me not to see it as a thing actually existing。 What caused
my surprise was resting on the pier…table； above which rose a great dull
speckled mirror。
I saw myself in that mirror； and I can say that I saw for once in my life
the perfect image of stupefaction。 But I made proper allowance for myself；
I approved myself for being so stupefied by a really stupefying thing。
The object I was thus examining with a degree of astonishment that all
my reasoning power failed to lessen； obtruded itself on my attention
though quite motionless。 The persistence and fixity of the phenomenon
excluded any idea of hallucination。 I am totally exempt from all nervous
disorders capable of influencing the sense of sight。 The cause of such
visual disturbance is； I think； generally due to stomach trouble； and； thank
God！ I have an excellent stomach。 Moreover； visual illusions are
accompanied with special abnormal conditions which impress the victims
of hallucination themselves； and inspire them with a sort of terror。 Now； I
felt nothing of this kind； the object which I saw； although seemingly
impossible in itself； appeared to me under all the natural conditions of
reality。 I observed that it had three dimensions； and colours； and that it cast
a shadow。 Ah！ how I stared at it！ The water came into my eyes so that I
had to wipe the glasses of my spectacles。
Finally I found myself obliged to yield to the evidence； and to affirm
that I had really before my eyes the Fairy； the very same Fairy I had been
dreaming of in the library a few evenings before。 It was she； it was her
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very self； I assure you！ She had the same air of child…queen； the same
proud supple poise； she held the same hazel wand in her hand； she still
wore her double…peaked head…dress； and the train of her long brocade robe
undulated about her little feet。 Same face； same figure。 It was she indeed；
and to prevent any possible doubt of it； she was seated on the back of a
huge old… fashioned book strongly resembling the 〃Cosmography of
Munster。〃 Her immobility but half reassured me； I was really afraid that
she was going to take some more nuts out of her alms…purse and throw the
shells at my face。
I was standing there； waving my hands and gaping； when the musical
and laughing voice of Madame de Gabry suddenly rang in my ears。
〃So you are examining your fairy； Monsieur Bonnard！〃 said my
hostess。 〃Well； do you think the resemblance good？〃
It was very quickly said； but even while hearing it I had time to
perceive that my fairy was a statuette in coloured wax； modeled with
much taste and spirit by some novice hand。