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persecutors to have nothing so very remarkable to say on the
greatest of subjects as to render his volunteering； on his own
account； at all incumbent on his conscience； but； he has his
followers and Mrs Snagsby is of the number。 Mrs Snagsby has but
recently taken a passage upward by the vessel； Chadband； and her
attention was attracted to that Bark A 1； when she was something
flushed by the hot weather。
“My little woman；” says Mr Snagsby to the sparrows in Staple
Inn； “likes to have her religion rather sharp； you see！”
So； Guster； much impressed by regarding herself for the time as
the handmaid of Chadband； whom she knows to be endowed with
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the gift of holding forth for four hours at a stretch； prepares the
little drawing…room for tea。 All the furniture is shaken and dusted；
the portraits of Mr and Mrs Snagsby are touched up with a wet
cloth； the best tea…service is set forth； and there is excellent
provision made of dainty new bread； crusty twists； cool fresh
butter； thin slices of ham； tongue and German sausage； and
delicate little rows of anchovies nestling in parsley； not to mention
new…laid eggs； to be brought up warm in a napkin； and hot
buttered toast。 For； Chadband is rather a consuming vessel—the
persecutors say a gorging vessel； and can wield such weapons of
the flesh as a knife and fork； remarkably well。
Mr Snagsby in his best coat； looking at all the preparations
when they are completed； and coughing his cough of deference
behind his hand； says to Mrs Snagsby； “At what time did you
expect Mr and Mrs Chadband； my love？”
“At six；” says Mrs Snagsby。
Mr Snagsby observes in a mild and casual way； that “it’s gone
that。”
“Perhaps you’d like to begin without them；” is Mrs Snagsby’s
reproachful remark。
Mr Snagsby does look as if he would like it very much； but he
says； with his cough of mildness； “No； my dear； no。 I merely
named the time。”
“What’s time；” says Mrs Snagsby； “to eternity？”
“Very true； my dear；” says Mr Snagsby。 “Only when a person
lays in victuals for tea； a person does it with a view—perhaps—
more to time。 And when a time is named for having tea； it’s better
to come up to it。”
“To come up to it！” Mrs Snagsby repeats with severity。 “Up to
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Bleak House 366
it！ As if Mr Chadband was a fighter！”
“Not at all； my dear；” says Mr Snagsby。
Here； Guster； who had been looking out of the bedroom
window； comes rustling and scratching down the little staircase
like a popular ghost； and； falling flushed into the drawing…room；
announces that Mr and Mrs Chadband have appeared in the court。
The bell at the inner door in the passage immediately thereafter
tinkling； she is admonished by Mrs Snagsby； on pain of instant
reconsignment to her patron saint； not to omit the ceremony of
announcement。 Much discomposed in her nerves （which were
previously in the best order） by this threat； she so fearfully
mutilates that point of state as to announce “Mr and Mrs
Cheeseming； least which； Imeantersay； whatsername！” and retires
conscience…stricken from the presence。
Mr Chadband is a large yellow man； with a fat smile； and a
general appearance of having a good deal of train oil in his system。
Mrs Chadband is a stern； severe…looking； silent woman。 Mr
Chadband moves softly and cumbrously； not unlike a bear who
has been taught to walk upright。 He is very much embarrassed
about the arms； as if they were inconvenient to him； and he
wanted to grovel； is very much in a perspiration about the head；
and never speaks without first putting up his great hand； as
delivering a token to his hearers that he is going to edify them。
“My friends；” says Mr Chadband。 “Peace be on this house！ On
the master thereof； on the mistress thereof； on the young maidens；
and on the young men！ My friends； why do I wish for peace？ What
is peace？ Is it war？ No。 Is it strife？ No。 Is it lovely； and gentle； and
beautiful； and pleasant； and serene； and joyful？ O yes！ Therefore；
my friends； I wish for peace； upon you and upon yours。”
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In consequence of Mrs Snagsby looking deeply edified； Mr
Snagsby thinks it expedient on the whole to say Amen； which is
well received。
“Now； my friends；” proceeds Mr Chadband； “since I am upon
this theme—”
Guster presents herself。 Mrs Snagsby； in a spectral bass voice；
and without removing her eyes from Chadband； says； with dread
distinctness； “Go away！”
“Now； my friends；” says Chadband； “since I am upon this
theme； and in my lowly path improving it—”
Guster is heard unaccountably to murmur “one thousing seven
hundred and eighty…two。” The spectral voice repeats more
solemnly； “Go away！”
“Now； my friends；” says Mr Chadband； “we will inquire in a
spirit of love—“
Still Guster reiterates “one thousing seven hundred and eighty…
two。”
Mr Chadband； pausing with the resignation of a man
accustomed to be persecuted； and languidly folding up his chin
into his fat smile； says； “Let us hear the maiden！ Speak； maiden！”
“One thousing seven hundred and eighty…two； if you please； sir。
Which he wish to know what the shilling ware for；” says Guster；
breathless。
“For？” returns Mrs Chadband。 “For his fare！”
Guster replied that “he insistes on one and eightpence； or on
summonsizzing the party。” Mrs Snagsby and Mrs Chadband are
proceeding to grow shrill in indignation； when Mr Chadband
quiets the tumult by lifting up his hand。
“My friends；” says he； “I remember a duty unfulfilled yesterday。
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It is right that I should be chastened in some penalty。 I ought not
to murmur。 Rachel； pay the eightpence！”
While Mrs Snagsby； drawing her breath； looks hard at Mr
Snagsby； as who should say； “you hear this apostle！” and while Mr
Chadband glows with humility and train oil； Mrs Chadband pays
the money。 It is Mr Chadband’s habit—it is the head and front of
his pretensions indeed—to keep this sort of debtor and creditor
account in the smallest items； and to post it publicly on the most
trival occasions。
“My friends；” says Chadb