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out that to spend anything less on something else was to save the
difference。
While these affairs were in abeyance； our visit to Mr Boythorn’s
was postponed。 At length； Richard having taken possession of his
lodging； there was nothing to prevent our departure。 He could
have gone with us at that time of the year； very well； but he was in
the full novelty of his new position； and was making most
energetic attempts to unravel the mysteries of the fatal suit。
Consequently we went without him； and my darling was delighted
to praise him for being so busy。
We made a pleasant journey down into Lincolnshire by the
coach； and had an entertaining companion in Mr Skimpole。 His
furniture had been all cleared off； it appeared； by the person who
took possession of it on his blue…eyed daughter’s birthday； but； he
seemed quite relieved to think that it was gone。 Chairs and tables；
he said； were wearisome objects； they were monotonous ideas；
they had no variety of expression； they looked you out of
countenance； and you looked them out of countenance。 How
pleasant； then； to be bound to no particular chairs and tables； but
to sport like a butterfly among all the furniture on hire； and to flit
from rosewood to mahogany； and from mahogany to walnut； and
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from this shape to that； as the humour took one！
“The oddity of the thing is；” said Mr Skimpole； with a
quickened sense of the ludicrous； “that my chairs and tables were
not paid for； and yet my landlord walks off with them as
composedly as possible。 Now； that seems droll！ There is something
grotesque in it。 The chair and table merchant never engaged to
pay my landlord my rent。 Why should my landlord quarrel with
him？ If I have a pimple on my nose which is disagreeable to my
landlord’s peculiar ideas of beauty； my landlord has no business to
scratch my chair and table merchant’s nose； which has no pimple
on it。 His reasoning seems defective！”
“Well；” said my Guardian； good…humouredly； “it’s pretty clear
that whoever became security for those chairs and tables will have
to pay for them。”
“Exactly！” returned Mr Skimpole。 “That’s the crowning point of
unreason in the business！ I said to my landlord； ‘My good man；
you are not aware that my excellent friend Jarndyce will have to
pay for those things that you are sweeping off in that indelicate
manner。 Have you no consideration for his property？’ He hadn’t
the least。”
“And refused all proposals；” said my Guardian。
“Refused all proposals；” returned Mr Skimpole。 “I made him
business proposals。 I had him into my room。 I said； ‘You are a man
of business I believe？’ He replied； ‘I am。’ ‘Very well；’ said I； ‘now
let us be business…like。 Here is an inkstand； here are pens and
paper； here are wafers。 What do you want？ I have occupied your
house for a considerable period； I believe to our mutual
satisfaction until this unpleasant misunderstanding arose； let us
be at once friendly and business…like。 What do you want？’ In reply
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to this； he made use of the figurative expression—which has
something Eastern about it—that he had never seen the colour of
my money。 ‘My amiable friend；’ said I； ‘I never have any money。 I
never know anything about money。’ ‘Well； sir；’ said he； ‘what do
you offer； if I give you time？’ ‘My good fellow；’ said I； ‘I have no
idea of time； but； you say you are a man of business； and whatever
you can suggest to be done in a business…like way with pen； and
ink； and paper—and wafers—I am ready to do。 Don’t pay yourself
at another man’s expense （which is foolish）； but be business…like！’
However； he wouldn’t be； and there was an end of it。”
If these were some of the inconveniences of Mr Skimpole’s
childhood； it assuredly possessed its advantages too。 On the
journey he had a very good appetite for such refreshment as came
in our way （including a basket of choice hot…house peaches；） but
never thought of paying for anything。 So when the coachman
came round for his fee； he pleasantly asked him what he
considered a very good fee indeed； now—a liberal one—and； on
his replying； half…a…crown for a single passenger； said it was little
enough too； all things considered； and left Mr Jarndyce to give it
him。
It was delightful weather。 The green corn waved so beautifully；
the larks sang so joyfully； the hedges were so full of wild flowers；
the trees were so thickly out in leaf； the bean…fields； with a light
wind blowing over them； filled the air with such a delicious
fragrance！ Late in the afternoon we came to the market…town
where we were to alight from the coach—a dull little town； with a
church…spire； and a market…place； and a market…cross； and one
intensely sunny street； and a pond with an old horse cooling his
legs in it； and a very few men sleepily lying and standing about in
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narrow little bits of shade。 After the rustling of the leaves and the
waving of the corn all along the road； it looked as still； as hot； as
motionless a little town as England could produce。
At the inn； we found Mr Boythorn on horseback； waiting with
an open carriage to take us to his house； which was a few miles off。
He was overjoyed to see us； and dismounted with great alacrity。
“By Heaven！” said he； after giving us a courteous greeting； “this
is a most infamous coach。 It is the most flagrant example of an
abominable public vehicle that ever encumbered the face of the
earth。 It is twenty…five minutes after its time； this afternoon。 The
coachman ought to be put to death！”
“Is he after his time？” said Mr Skimpole； to whom he happened
to address himself。 “You know my infirmity。”
“Twenty…five minutes！ Twenty…six minutes？” replied Mr
Boythorn； referring to his watch。 “With two ladies in the coach；
this scoundrel has deliberately delayed his arrival six…and…twenty
minutes。 Deliberately！ It is impossible that it can be accidental！
But his father—and his uncle—were the most profligate coachmen
that ever sat upon his box。”
While he said this in tones of the greatest indignation； he
handed us into the little phaeton with the utmost gentleness； and
was all smiles and pleasure。
“I am sorry； ladies；” he said； standing bare…headed at the
carriage…door； when all was ready； “that I am obliged to conduct
you nearly