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a modest proposal-第3章

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Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients: Of taxing

our absentees at five shillings a pound: Of using neither

cloaths; nor houshold furniture; except what is of our own growth

and manufacture: Of utterly rejecting the materials and

instruments that promote foreign luxury: Of curing the

expensiveness of pride; vanity; idleness; and gaming in our

women: Of introducing a vein of parsimony; prudence and

temperance: Of learning to love our country; wherein we differ

even from Laplanders; and the inhabitants of Topinamboo: Of

quitting our animosities and factions; nor acting any longer like

the Jews; who were murdering one another at the very moment their

city was taken: Of being a little cautious not to sell our

country and consciences for nothing: Of teaching landlords to

have at least one degree of mercy towards their tenants。 Lastly;

of putting a spirit of honesty; industry; and skill into our

shop…keepers; who; if a resolution could now be taken to buy only

our native goods; would immediately unite to cheat and exact upon

us in the price; the measure; and the goodness; nor could ever

yet be brought to make one fair proposal of just dealing; though

often and earnestly invited to it。



Therefore I repeat; let no man talk to me of these and the like

expedients; 'till he hath at least some glympse of hope; that

there will ever be some hearty and sincere attempt to put them

into practice。



But; as to my self; having been wearied out for many years with

offering vain; idle; visionary thoughts; and at length utterly

despairing of success; I fortunately fell upon this proposal;

which; as it is wholly new; so it hath something solid and real;

of no expence and little trouble; full in our own power; and

whereby we can incur no danger in disobliging England。 For this

kind of commodity will not bear exportation; and flesh being of

too tender a consistence; to admit a long continuance in salt;

although perhaps I could name a country; which would be glad to

eat up our whole nation without it。



After all; I am not so violently bent upon my own opinion; as to

reject any offer; proposed by wise men; which shall be found

equally innocent; cheap; easy; and effectual。 But before

something of that kind shall be advanced in contradiction to my

scheme; and offering a better; I desire the author or authors

will be pleased maturely to consider two points。 First; As things

now stand; how they will be able to find food and raiment for a

hundred thousand useless mouths and backs。 And secondly; There

being a round million of creatures in humane figure throughout

this kingdom; whose whole subsistence put into a common stock;

would leave them in debt two million of pounds sterling; adding

those who are beggars by profession; to the bulk of farmers;

cottagers and labourers; with their wives and children; who are

beggars in effect; I desire those politicians who dislike my

overture; and may perhaps be so bold to attempt an answer; that

they will first ask the parents of these mortals; whether they

would not at this day think it a great happiness to have been

sold for food at a year old; in the manner I prescribe; and

thereby have avoided such a perpetual scene of misfortunes; as

they have since gone through; by the oppression of landlords; the

impossibility of paying rent without money or trade; the want of

common sustenance; with neither house nor cloaths to cover them

from the inclemencies of the weather; and the most inevitable

prospect of intailing the like; or greater miseries; upon their

breed for ever。



I profess; in the sincerity of my heart; that I have not the

least personal interest in endeavouring to promote this necessary

work; having no other motive than the publick good of my country;

by advancing our trade; providing for infants; relieving the

poor; and giving some pleasure to the rich。 I have no children;

by which I can propose to get a single penny; the youngest being

nine years old; and my wife past child…bearing。











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