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mammoths； to say nothing of small game for man。
〃But to get back。 Down at the lower end of the valley I got winded
and gave over。 I began to speculate； for when my wind left me my
dander got hotter and hotter； and I knew I'd never know peace of
mind till I dined on roasted mammoth…foot。 And I knew； also； that
that stood for SKOOKUM MAMOOK PUKAPUKexcuse Chinook； I mean there
was a big fight coming。 Now the mouth of my valley was very
narrow； and the walls steep。 High up on one side was one of those
big pivot rocks； or balancing rocks； as some call them； weighing
all of a couple of hundred tons。 Just the thing。 I hit back for
camp； keeping an eye open so the bull couldn't slip past； and got
my ammunition。 It wasn't worth anything with the rifle smashed； so
I opened the shells； planted the powder under the rock； and touched
it off with slow fuse。 Wasn't much of a charge； but the old
boulder tilted up lazily and dropped down into place； with just
space enough to let the creek drain nicely。 Now I had him。〃
〃But how did you have him？〃 I queried。 〃Who ever heard of a man
killing a mammoth with a hand…axe？ And； for that matter； with
anything else？〃
〃O man； have I not told you I was mad？〃 Nimrod replied； with a
slight manifestation of sensitiveness。 〃Mad clean through； what of
Klooch and the gun。 Also； was I not a hunter？ And was this not
new and most unusual game？ A hand…axe？ Pish！ I did not need it。
Listen； and you shall hear of a hunt； such as might have happened
in the youth of the world when cavemen rounded up the kill with
hand…axe of stone。 Such would have served me as well。 Now is it
not a fact that man can outwalk the dog or horse？ That he can wear
them out with the intelligence of his endurance？〃
I nodded。
〃Well？〃
The light broke in on me； and I bade him continue。
〃My valley was perhaps five miles around。 The mouth was closed。
There was no way to get out。 A timid beast was that bull mammoth；
and I had him at my mercy。 I got on his heels again hollered like
a fiend； pelted him with cobbles； and raced him around the valley
three times before I knocked off for supper。 Don't you see？ A
race…course！ A man and a mammoth！ A hippodrome； with sun； moon；
and stars to referee！
〃It took me two months to do it； but I did it。 And that's no
beaver dream。 Round and round I ran him； me travelling on the
inner circle； eating jerked meat and salmon berries on the run； and
snatching winks of sleep between。 Of course； he'd get desperate at
times and turn。 Then I'd head for soft ground where the creek
spread out； and lay anathema upon him and his ancestry； and dare
him to come on。 But he was too wise to bog in a mud puddle。 Once
he pinned me in against the walls； and I crawled back into a deep
crevice and waited。 Whenever he felt for me with his trunk； I'd
belt him with the hand…axe till he pulled out； shrieking fit to
split my ear drums； he was that mad。 He knew he had me and didn't
have me； and it near drove him wild。 But he was no man's fool。 He
knew he was safe as long as I stayed in the crevice； and he made up
his mind to keep me there。 And he was dead right； only he hadn't
figured on the commissary。 There was neither grub nor water around
that spot； so on the face of it he couldn't keep up the siege。
He'd stand before the opening for hours； keeping an eye on me and
flapping mosquitoes away with his big blanket ears。 Then the
thirst would come on him and he'd ramp round and roar till the
earth shook； calling me every name he could lay tongue to。 This
was to frighten me； of course； and when he thought I was
sufficiently impressed； he'd back away softly and try to make a
sneak for the creek。 Sometimes I'd let him get almost thereonly
a couple of hundred yards away it waswhen out I'd pop and back
he'd come； lumbering along like the old landslide he was。 After
I'd done this a few times； and he'd figured it out； he changed his
tactics。 Grasped the time element； you see。 Without a word of
warning； away he'd go； tearing for the water like mad； scheming to
get there and back before I ran away。 Finally； after cursing me
most horribly； he raised the siege and deliberately stalked off to
the water…hole。
〃That was the only time he penned me；three days of it；but after
that the hippodrome never stopped。 Round； and round； and round；
like a six days' go…as…I…please； for he never pleased。 My clothes
went to rags and tatters； but I never stopped to mend； till at last
I ran naked as a son of earth； with nothing but the old hand…axe in
one hand and a cobble in the other。 In fact； I never stopped； save
for peeps of sleep in the crannies and ledges of the cliffs。 As
for the bull； he got perceptibly thinner and thinnermust have
lost several tons at leastand as nervous as a schoolmarm on the
wrong side of matrimony。 When I'd come up with him and yell； or
lain him with a rock at long range； he'd jump like a skittish colt
and tremble all over。 Then he'd pull out on the run； tail and
trunk waving stiff； head over one shoulder and wicked eyes blazing；
and the way he'd swear at me was something dreadful。 A most
immoral beast he was； a murderer； and a blasphemer。
〃But towards the end he quit all this； and fell to whimpering and
crying like a baby。 His spirit broke and he became a quivering
jelly…mountain of misery。 He'd get attacks of palpitation of the
heart； and stagger around like a drunken man； and fall down and
bark his shins。 And then he'd cry； but always on the run。 O man；
the gods themselves would have wept with him； and you yourself or
any other man。 It was pitiful； and there was so I much of it； but
I only hardened my heart and hit up the pace。 At last I wore him
clean out； and he lay down； broken…winded； broken…hearted； hungry；
and thirsty。 When I found he wouldn't budge； I hamstrung him； and
spent the better part of the day wading into him with the hand…axe；
he a…sniffing and sobbing till I worked in far enough to shut him
off。 Thirty feet long he was； and twenty high； and a man could
sling a hammock between his tusks and sleep comfortably。 Barring
the fact that I had run most of the juices out of him； he was fair
eating； and his four feet； alone； roasted whole； would have lasted
a man a twelvemonth。 I spent the winter there myself。〃
〃And where is this valley？〃 I asked
He waved his hand in the direction of the north…east； and said：
〃Your tobacco is very good。 I carry a fair share of it in my
pouch； but I shall carry the recollection of it until I die。 In
token of my appreciation； and in return for the moccasins on your
own feet； I will present to you these muclucs。 They commemorate
Klooch and the seven blind little beggars。 They are also souvenirs
of an unparalleled event in history； namely； the destruction of the
oldest breed of animal on earth； and the youngest。 And their chief
virtue lies in that they will never wear out。〃
Having effected the exchange； he knocked the ashes from his pipe；
gripped my hand good…night； and wandered off through the snow。
Concerning this tale； for which I have already disclaimed
responsibility； I would recommend those of little faith to make a
visit to the Smithsonian Institute。 If they bring the requisite
credentials and do not come in vacation time； they will undoubtedly
gain an audience with Professor Dolvidson。 The muclucs are in his
possession； and he will verify； not the manner in which they were
obtained； but the material of which they are composed。 When he
states that they are made from the skin of the mammoth； the
scientific world accepts his verdict。 What more would you have？
A HYPERBOREAN BREW
＇The story of a scheming white man among the strange people who
live on the rim of the Arctic sea＇
Thomas Stevens's veracity may have been indeterminate as X； and his
imagination the imagination of ordinary men