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the yellow wallpaper-第4章

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every piece of furniture; except the bed; a long; straight; even
SMOOCH; as if it had been rubbed over and over。

I wonder how it was done and who did it; and what they did
it for。  Round and round and roundround and round and roundit
makes me dizzy!


I really have discovered something at last。

Through watching so much at night; when it changes so; I
have finally found out。

The front pattern DOES moveand no wonder!  The woman
behind shakes it!

Sometimes I think there are a great many women behind; and
sometimes only one; and she crawls around fast; and her crawling
shakes it all over。

Then in the very bright spots she keeps still; and in the
very shady spots she just takes hold of the bars and shakes them
hard。

And she is all the time trying to climb through。  But nobody
could climb through that patternit strangles so; I think that
is why it has so many heads。

They get through; and then the pattern strangles them off
and turns them upside down; and makes their eyes white!

If those heads were covered or taken off it would not be
half so bad。


I think that woman gets out in the daytime!

And I'll tell you whyprivatelyI've seen her!

I can see her out of every one of my windows!

It is the same woman; I know; for she is always creeping;
and most women do not creep by daylight。

I see her on that long road under the trees; creeping along;
and when a carriage comes she hides under the blackberry vines。

I don't blame her a bit。  It must be very humiliating to be
caught creeping by daylight!

I always lock the door when I creep by daylight。  I can't do
it at night; for I know John would suspect something at once。

And John is so queer now; that I don't want to irritate him。
I wish he would take another room!  Besides; I don't want anybody
to get that woman out at night but myself。

I often wonder if I could see her out of all the windows at
once。

But; turn as fast as I can; I can only see out of one at a
time。

And though I always see her; she MAY be able to creep
faster than I can turn!

I have watched her sometimes away off in the open country;
creeping as fast as a cloud shadow in a high wind。

If only that top pattern could be gotten off from the under
one!  I mean to try it; little by little。

I have found out another funny thing; but I shan't tell it
this time!  It does not do to trust people too much。

There are only two more days to get this paper off; and I
believe John is beginning to notice。  I  don't like the look in
his eyes。

And I heard him ask Jennie a lot of professional questions
about me。  She had a very good report to give。

She said I slept a good deal in the daytime。

John knows I don't sleep very well at night; for all I'm so
quiet!

He asked me all sorts of questions; too; and pretended to be
very loving and kind。

As if I couldn't see through him!

Still; I don't wonder he acts so; sleeping under this paper
for three months。

It only interests me; but I feel sure John and Jennie are
secretly affected by it。


Hurrah!  This is the last day; but it is enough。  John is to
stay in town over night; and won't be out until this evening。

Jennie wanted to sleep with methe sly thing! but I told
her I should undoubtedly rest better for a night all alone。

That was clever; for really I wasn't alone a bit!  As soon
as it was moonlight and that poor thing began to crawl and shake
the pattern; I got up and ran to help her。

I pulled and she shook; I shook and she pulled; and before
morning we had peeled off yards of that paper。

A strip about as high as my head and half around the room。

And then when the sun came and that awful pattern began to
laugh at me; I declared I would finish it to…day!

We go away to…morrow; and they are moving all my furniture
down again to leave things as they were before。

Jennie looked at the wall in amazement; but I told her
merrily that I did it out of pure spite at the vicious thing。

She laughed and said she wouldn't mind doing it herself; but
I must not get tired。

How she betrayed herself that time!

But I am here; and no person touches this paper but menot
ALIVE!

She tried to get me out of the roomit was too patent!  But
I said it was so quiet and empty and clean now that I believed I
would lie down again and sleep all I could; and not to wake me
even for dinnerI would call when I woke。

So now she is gone; and the servants are gone; and the
things are gone; and there is nothing left but that great
bedstead nailed down; with the canvas mattress we found on it。

We shall sleep downstairs to…night; and take the boat home
to…morrow。

I quite enjoy the room; now it is bare again。

How those children did tear about here!

This bedstead is fairly gnawed!

But I must get to work。

I have locked the door and thrown the key down into the
front path。

I don't want to go out; and I don't want to have anybody
come in; till John comes。

I want to astonish him。

I've got a rope up here that even Jennie did not find。  If
that woman does get out; and tries to get away; I can tie her!

But I forgot I could not reach far without anything to stand
on!

This bed will NOT move!

I tried to lift and push it until I was lame; and then I got
so angry I bit off a little piece at one cornerbut it hurt my
teeth。

Then I peeled off all the paper I could reach standing on
the floor。  It sticks horribly and the pattern just enjoys it! 
All those strangled heads and bulbous eyes and waddling fungus
growths just shriek with derision!

I am getting angry enough to do something desperate。  To
jump out of the window would be admirable exercise; but the bars
are too strong even to try。

Besides I wouldn't do it。  Of course not。  I know well
enough that a step like that is improper and might be
misconstrued。

I don't like to LOOK out of the windows eventhere are so
many of those creeping women; and they creep so fast。

I wonder if they all come out of that wall…paper as I did?

But I am securely fastened now by my well…hidden ropeyou
don't get ME out in the road there!

I suppose I shall have to get back behind the pattern when
it comes night; and that is hard!

It is so pleasant to be out in this great room and creep
around as I please!

I don't want to go outside。  I won't; even if Jennie asks me
to。

For outside you have to creep on the ground; and everything
is green instead of yellow。

But here I can creep smoothly on the floor; and my shoulder
just fits in that long smooch around the wall; so I cannot lose
my way。

Why there's John at the door!

It is no use; young man; you can't open it!

How he does call and pound!

Now he's crying for an axe。

It would be a shame to break down that beautiful door!

〃John dear!' said I in the gentlest voice; 〃the key is down
by the front steps; under a plantain leaf!〃

That silenced him for a few moments。

Then he saidvery quietly indeed; 〃Open the door; my
darling!〃

〃I can't〃; said I。  〃The key is down by the front door under
a plantain leaf!〃

And then I said it again; several times; very gently and
slowly; and said it so often that he had to go and see; and he
got it of course; and came in。  He stopped short by the door。

〃What is the matter?〃 he cried。  〃For God's sake; what are
you doing!〃

I kept on creeping just the same; but I looked at him over
my shoulder。

〃I've got out at last;〃 said I; 〃in spite of you and Jane。 
And I've pulled off most of the paper; so you can't put me back!〃

Now why should that man have fainted?  But he did; and right
across my path by the wall; so that I had to creep over him every
time!





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