the foundations of personality-第67章

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nd　the　home　a　burden　too　crippling　to　be　borne。　One　of　the　outstanding　figures　of　the　past　is　the　domestic　woman；　yearning　for　a　home；　assiduously　and　constantly　devoted　to　it；　her　husband　and　her　numerous　children。　Fancy　likes　to　linger　on　this　old…fashioned　housewife；　arising　in　the　early　morning　and　from　that　time　until　her　bedtime　content　to　bake；　cook；　wash；　dust；　clean；　sew；　nurse　and　teach；　imagining　no　other　career　possible　or　proper　for　her　sex；　leading　a　life　of　self…　sacrifice；　toil　and　devotion。　Poet；　novelist；　artist；　and　clergyman　have　immortalized　her；　and　men　for　the　most　part　cherish　this　type　as　their　mother　and　dream　of　it　as　the　ideal　wife。　Perhaps　（and　probably）　this　woman　rebelled　in　her　heart　against　her　drudgery　and　dreamed　of　better　things；　perhaps　she　regretted　the　quickly　past　youth　and　dreaded　the　frequent　child…bearing。　Whether　she　did　or　not；　the　appearance　of　a　strongly　non…domestic　type　is　part　of　the　history　of　the　latter　nineteenth　century　and　the　early　twentieth。　The　non…domestic　women　are；　like　their　male　prototypes；　of　many　kinds；　and　it　would　be　idle　to　enumerate　them。　There　is　the　kind　of　woman　that　〃has　a　career；〃　using　this　term　neither　sarcastically　nor　flatteringly。　The　successful　artist　of　whatever　sortpainter；　musician；　actresshas　usually　been　quite　spoiled　for　domesticity　by　the　reward　of　money　and　adulation　given　her。　Nowhere　is　the　lack　of　proportion　of　our　society　so　well　demonstrated　as　in　the　hysterical　praise　given　to　this　kind　of　woman；　and　naturally　she　cannot　consent　to　the　subordination　and　seclusion　of　the　home。　Then　there　is　the　young　business　woman；　efficient；　independent；　proud　of　her　place　in　the　bustle　and　stir　of　trade。　She　is　quite　willing　to　marry　and　often　makes　an　admirable　mother　and　wife；　but　sometimes　she　finds　the　menial　character　of　housework；　its　monotony　and　dependence　too　much　for　her。　The　feminist　aglow　with　equality　and　imbued　with　too　vivid　a　feeling　of　sex　antagonism　may　marry　and　bear　children；　but　she　rarely　becomes　a　fireside　companion　of　the　type　the　average　man　idealizes。　Then　the　vain；　the　frivolous；　the　sexually　uncontrolled；these　too　make　poor　choice　for　him　who　has　set　his　heart　on　a　wife　who　will　cook　his　meals；　darn　his　stockings　and　care　for　the　children。　To　be　non…domestic　is　a　privilege　or　a　right　we　cannot　deny　to　women；　nor　is　there　condemnation　in　the　term；it　is　merely　a　summary　characterization。　Though　to　remain　single　is　to　be　freer　than　to　be　married　and　domestic；　yet　the　race　will　always　have　far　more　domestic　characters。　These　alone　will　bear　children；　and　from　them　the　racial　characters　will　flow　rather　than　from　the　exceptional　and　deviate　types；　unless　the　home　disappears　in　the　form　of　some　other　method　of　raising　children。　After　all；　the　home　is　a　costly；　inefficient　method　of　family　life　unless　it　has　advantages　for　childhood。　This　it　decidedly　has；　though　we　have　bad　homes　aplenty　and　foolish　ones　galore。　Yet　there　is　for　the　child　a　care；　and　more　important；　an　immersion　in　love　and　tender　feeling；　possible　in　no　other　way。　We　should　lose　the　sacred　principles　of　motherhood　and　fatherhood；　the　only　example　of　consistent　and　unrewarded　love；　if　the　home　disappeared。　The　only　real　altruism　of　any　continuous　and　widespread　type　is　there　found。　It　is　the　promise　and　the　possibility　of　our　race　that　we　see　in　the　living　parents。　We　know　that　unselfishness　exists　when　we　think　of　them；　and　the　idealist　who　dreams　of　a　world　set　free　from　greed　and　struggle　merely　enlarges　the　ideal　home。　But　we　must　be　realistic；　as　well　as　idealistic。　A　silent　or　noisy　struggle　goes　on　in　the　home　between　the　old　and　the　new；　between　a　rising　and　a　receding　generation。　An　orthodox　old　generation　looks　askance　on　an　heretical　new　generation；　parents　who　believe　that　to　play　cards　or　go　to　theater　is　the　way　of　Satan　find　their　children　leaving　home　to　do　these　very　things。　Everywhere　mothers　wonder　why　daughters　like　short　skirts；　powder　and　perhaps　rouge；　when　they　were　brought　up　on　the　corset；　crinoline　and　the　bustle；　and　they　rebel　against　the　indictment　passed　out　broadcast　by　their　children。　〃You　are　old…fashioned；　this　is　the　year　1921。〃　When　children　grow　up；　their　wills　clash　with　their　parents'；　even　in　the　sweetest；　and　most　loving　of　homes。　Behind　many　a　girl's　anxiety　to　marry　is　the　desire　for　the　unobstructed　exercise　of　her　will。　Parents　too　often　seek　in　their　children　a　continuation　of　their　own　peculiarities；　their　own　characters　and　ideals；　forgetting　that　the　continuity　of　the　generations　is　true　only　in　a　biological　sense；　but　in　no　other　way。　And　children　grown　to　strength；　power　and　intelligence　think　that　each　person　must　seek　his　experiences　himself　and　forget　that　true　wisdom　lies　in　what　is　accepted　by　all　the　generations。　Just　as　we　have　the　types　of　husbands　and　the　types　of　wives；　so　we　judge　men　and　women　by　the　wisdom；　dignity　and　faithfulness　of　their　parenthood；　so　we　judge　them　by　the　kind　of　children　they　are　to　their　parents。　In　this　last　we　have　a　point　in　character　of　great　importance　and　one　upon　which　the　followers　of　Freud　have　laid　muchover…muchstress。　The　effect　of　too　affectionate　a　home　training；　too　assertive　parenthood；　is　to　dwarf　the　individuality　of　the　child　and　make　him　a　sort　of　parasite；　out　of　contact　with　his　contemporaries；　seclusive　and　odd。　There　is　a　certain　brand　of　goody…goody　boy；　brought　up　tied　to　his　mother's　apron　strings；　who　has　lost　the　essential　capacities　of　mixing　with　varied　types　of　boys　and　girls；　who　is　sensitive；　shy　and　retiring；　or　who　is　naively　boorish　and　unschooled　in　tact。　According　to　some　psychiatrists　this　kind　of　training　breeds　the　mental　disease　known　as　Dementia　Praecox；　but　I　seriously　doubt　it。　One　often　finds　that　the　goody…goody　boy　of　fifteen　becomes　the　college　fullback　at　twenty；that　is；　once　thrown　on　the　world；　the　really　normal　get　back　their　birthright　of　character。　I　think　it　likely　that　now　and　then　a　feeling　of　inferiority　is　bred　in　this　way；　a　feeling　that　may　cling　and　change　the　current　of　a　boy's　life。　The　real　danger　of　too　close　a　family　life；　in　whatever　way　it　manifests　itself；　is　that　it　cuts　into　real　social　life；　narrows　the　field　of　influences　and　sympathies；　breeds　a　type　of　personality　of　perhaps　good　morals　but　of　poor　humanity。　The　home　must　never　lose　its　contact　with　the　world；　it　should　never　be　regarded　as　the　real　world　for　which　a　man　works。　It　is　a　place　to　rest　in；　to　eat　in；　to　work　in；　in　it　is　the　spirit　of　family　life；　redolent　of　affection；　mutual　aid　and　self…sacrifice；　but　more　than　these；　it　is　the　nodal　point　of　affections；　concerns　and　activity　which　radiate　from　it　to　the　rest　of　the　world。

CHAPTER　XV。　PLAY；　RECREATION；　HUMOR　AND　PLEASURE　SEEKING　One　of　the　great　difficulties　in　thought　is　that　often　the　same　word　expresses　quite　different　concepts。　Some　superficial　resemblance　has　taken　possession　of　the　mind　and　expressed　itself　in　a　unifying　word；　disregarding　the　fundamental　differences。　Take　the　word　〃play。〃　The　play　of　childhood　is　indeed　a　pleasurable　activity　to　the　child；　but　it　is　really　his　form　of　grappling　with　life；　a　serious　pursuit　of　knowledge　and　a　form　of　preparation　for　his　adult　activities。　It　is　not　a　way　of　relaxation；　on　the　contrary；　in　play　he　organizes　his　activities；　shuffles　and　reshuffles　his　ideas　and　experiences；　looking　for　the　new　combinations　we　call　〃imaginations。〃　The　kitten　in　its　play　prepares　to　catch　its　prey　later　on；　and　the　child　digging　in　a　ditch　and　making　believe　〃this　is　a　house〃　and　〃this　is　a　river〃　is　a　symbol　of　Man　the　mighty　changing　the　face　of　Nature。　The　running　and　catching　games　like　〃Tag〃　and　〃I　spy；〃　〃Hide　and　go　seek；〃　〃Rellevo〃　are　really　war　games；　with　training　in　endurance；　agility；　cool…headedness；　cooperation　and　rivalry　as　their　goals。　Only　as　the　child　grows　older；　and　there　is　placed　on　him　the　burden　of　school　work；　does　play　commence　to　change　its　serious　nature　and　partake　of　the　frivolous　character　of　adult　life。　For　the　play　of　adult　life　is　an　effort　to　find　pleasure　and　relaxation　in　the　dropping　of　serious　purposes；　in　the　〃forgetting〃　of　cares　and　worries；　by　indulging　in　excitement　which　has　no　fundamental　purpose。　The　pleas