友情提示:如果本网页打开太慢或显示不完整,请尝试鼠标右键“刷新”本网页!阅读过程发现任何错误请告诉我们,谢谢!! 报告错误
哔哔读书 返回本书目录 我的书架 我的书签 TXT全本下载 进入书吧 加入书签

the foundations of personality-第34章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!



 more often brings the breakdown of health。 This is the seeker of perfection in himself; who will not compromise with his instincts and his human flesh。 There seekers of perfection are among the noblest of the race; admired in the abstract but condemned by their friends as 〃too good;〃 〃impractical;〃 as possessors of the 〃New England conscience。〃 One of the effects of a Puritanical bringing…up is a belief that pleasure is unworthy; especially in the sex field and even in marriage。 Now and then one meets a patient caught between perfectly proper desire and an obsession that such pleasure is debasing; and a feeling of self…disgust and self…hatred results that is the more tragic since it is useless。 There are those in whom self…love and self…esteem is at a lower pressure than with the average man; just as there are those in whom it is at a much higher pressure。 Such people; when fatigued or when subject to the hostile or even non…friendly opinion of others; become so…called self…conscious; i。 e。; are afflicted with fear and a feeling of inferiority。 This may deepen into self…contempt and self…hatred。 Part of what is called confidence in oneself is self…esteem; and under fatigue; illness; after punishment of a physical or mental nature; it is apt to disappear。 Very distressing is this in those who have been accustomed to courage and self…confidence; perhaps whose occupation makes these qualities necessary。 Soldiers; after gassing or cerebral concussion; men completely without introspection; fearless and gay with assurance; become apprehensive; self…analytical and without the least faith in themselves; so that they approach their work in fear。 So with men who work in high places or where there is risk; such as steeplejacks; bridge builders; iron workers; engineers; let an accident happen to them; or let there occur an exhausting disease with its aftermath of neurasthenia; and the self…esteem and self…confidence disappear so that in many cases they have to give up their job。 Because self…disgust and hatred are so painful; compensatory 〃mechanisms〃 have been set up。 There is in many people a tendency to project outward the blame for those acts or thoughts which they dislike。 In the pathological field we get those delusions of influence that are so common。 Thus a patient will attribute his obscene thoughts and words to a hypnotic effect of some person or group of persons and saves his own face by the delusion。 In lesser pathological measure; men have fiercely preached against the snares and wiles of women; refusing to recognize that the turmoil of unwelcome desire into which they were thrown was internal in the greater part of its origin and that the woman often knew little or not at all of the effect she helped produce。 One of the outstanding features in the history of the race has been this transfer of blame from the desire of men to the agent which aroused them。 Of course; women have played on the desires of men; but even where this was true the blame for VULNERABILITY has seldom been fully accepted。 Whenever any one has been 〃weak〃 or 〃foolish〃 or 〃sinful;〃 his mind at once seeks avenues of escape from the blame; from the painful feeling of inferiority and self…reproach。 The avenue of escape selected may be to blame others as tempting or not warning and not teaching; may become entirely delusional; or it may take the religious form of confession; expiation and repentance。 There are some so hardy in their self…esteem that they never suffer; never seek any escape from self…reproach; largely because they never feel it; and others; though they seek escape; are continually dragged by conscience to self…imposed torture。 Most of us seek explanations for our unwelcome conduct on a plane most favorable to our self…esteem; and there arises an elaborate system of self…disguise; expiation; repentance and confession that is in a large part the real inner life of most of us。 To explain failure especially are the avenues of escape utilized。 Wounded in his self…esteem; rare is the one who frankly acknowledges inferiority。 〃Pull;〃 〃favoritism;〃 〃luck;〃 explain the success of others as do the reverse circumstances explain our failures to ourselves。 Sickness explains it; and so the defeated search in themselves for the explanation which will in part compensate them。 Escape from inferiority follows many avenues; by actual development of superiority; by denying real superiority to others; or by explaining the inferiority on some acceptable basis。 Here (as elsewhere in character) there is evident an organic and a social basis for feeling。 We have not emphasized sufficiently a peculiarity of all human feeling; all emotions; all sentiments。 They have their value to the individual in organizing his conduct; his standard of value。 They are of enormous importance socially。 A great law of feeling of whatever kind; of whatever elaboration; is this; it tends to spread from individual to individual and excites whole groups to the same feeling; tender feeling is contagious; and so is hate。 We are somehow so made that we reverberate at a friendly smile in one way and to the snarl and stern look of hate in another way。 Ordinarily love awakens love and hate awakens hate; though it may bring fear or contempt。 It is true that we may feel so superior or cherish some secret hate that will make another's love odious to us; and also we may admire and worship one who hates us。 These are exceptional cases and are examples of exceptional sentimental stability。 It is of course understood that by love is not meant sex passion。 Here the curious effect of coldness is sometimes to fan the flame of passion。 Desire obstructed often gains in violence; and the desire to conquer and to possess the proud; that we all feel; adds to the fire of lust。 Self…esteem; self…confidence; hateful to others if in excess or if obtrusive; is an essential of the leader。 His feeling is extraordinarily contagious; and the morale of the group is in his keeping。 He must not show fear; or self…distrust or self…lowering in any way。 He must be deliberate; but forceful; vigorous; masterful。 If he has doubts; he must keep them to himself or exhibit them only to one who loves him; who is not a mere follower。 It is a law of life that the herd follows the unwounded; confident; egoistic leader and tears to pieces or deserts the one who is wearying。 The basic sentiments of interest; love and hate; projected outward or inward; organize personality。 Men's characters and their destinies rest in the things they find interesting; the persons they love and hate; their self…confidence and self…esteem; their self…contempt and hatred。 And it is true that often we hate and love the same person or circumstance; we are divided; secretly; in our tenderest feelings; in our fiercest hate; more often; alas; in the former。 For occasionally admiration and respect will mitigate hate and render impotent our aim; but more commonly we are jealous of or envy son; brother; sister; husband; wife; father; mother and friend。 We love our work but hate its tyranny; and even the ideal that we cherish; when we examine it too closely; seems overconventionalized; not enough our own; and it stifles and martyrs too many unpleasant desires。 We rebel against our own affections; against the love that chains us perhaps to weakness and forces us; weary; to the wheel。 How deeply the feeling of 〃right〃 enters into the sentiments and their labors needs only a little reflection to understand。 Here we come to the effect of the sentiment of duty; for as such it may be discussed。 The establishment of conscience as our inner guide to conduct; and even to thought and emotions; has been studied briefly。 On a basis of innate capacity; conscience arises from the teaching and traditions of the group (or groups)。 The individual who has a susceptibility or a readiness to believe and a desire to be in conformity accepts or evolves for himself principles of conduct; based on obligation; expectation of reward and fear of punishment; these entering in various proportions; according to the type of person。 In children; or the very young child; expectation of reward and fear of punishment are more important than obligation; and this remains true of many people throughout life。 Gradu
返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 0 0
未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
温馨提示: 温看小说的同时发表评论,说出自己的看法和其它小伙伴们分享也不错哦!发表书评还可以获得积分和经验奖励,认真写原创书评 被采纳为精评可以获得大量金币、积分和经验奖励哦!